Sweating the Small Stuff | Virginia Photography

Hello, Lovelies!

Without a doubt, planning a family event can be…. wrought with land mines.  As a person who has been a quiet observer of many a baptism, bridal shower and wedding, let me assure you that no event goes off without a hitch.

I will go to the grave with my stories, but I want to assure you that no matter the landmine on your horizon, it’s ok. I am sure that even the most beautiful Style Me Pretty wedding at a California vineyard by the sea, with a Vera Wang dress, and three-carat ring… has a jaw dropping moment of drama.

So, how do you minimize it?

1. Make sure that keep yourself in check.  Under stress, a too-long to-do list, and little sleep… we can all snap at the ones we love.  Those words may feel totally appropriate, maybe deserved in the moment, but those words are long lasting.

2. As hard as it may be, let the details of the day go on autopiloit. No one’s going to care if your mom forgot to put the Mrs. and Mr. signs on the back of your chairs, but for months and years, your mom will remember your stinging words.  Focus instead on the magical moments.

3. Understand that many people who cause drama on your wedding day are working out of their own insecurities.  YOU are the center of attention on your wedding day, and some people, even though they love you very much, find difficulty in seeing others succeed.  That bridesmaid who says—are you sure you want to do/ wear/ etc. like that?  She may be sad she isn’t in the same spot.

4. Finally, protect your relationship.  There are those, even family members, who seek to do harm to your relationship.  It’s really sad when I see if happening.  Hopefully, you choose your new family above all else and protect it as sacred.  Don’t feel obligated to invite these people or work with your bridal party to minimize their impact.  Tell your drunk uncle who wants to tell off your fiancé that you’re sorry, but there isn’t time for extra speeches.  He is welcome to share his warm wishes in a letter.

I’m getting married next month, and I’ve had sleepless nights about my own pending drama.  When I find myself bogged down in the small stuff and family drama, I often think about this picture.

This is a photo from my grandparents wedding.  Doesn’t my grandmother look like a 1940s Hollywood bombshell? 

Truth is, she was probably hobbling.  She suffered from polio as a child, and the disease left her with stunted feet—woman’s size 1 or child’s size 13, if I remember correctly.  My grandfather had returned from war a changed man, and fought his own health battles.  I think she was 5 foot 1 inch, and he said he was 5 foot 3 inches. 

But look at them?  Smiling to beat the band and so in love the rest of the world was a blur.  That’s what I hope for.  A day where the nothing is in focus but Mi Amor and our daughters.